If I were to be honest, I would have to tell you that I stand in awe of how different the Christmases of my youth and teen years are from the family Christmases my own family has today.
When I was a child, we lived in the Northeast, in a rural area, and it was always a white Christmas. Many years it wasn't just a white Christmas, but a Christmas where even a four wheel drive Jeep couldn't make it down the driveway. Sometimes, ice storms would turn the property to grasses and trees seemingly encased in glass. By Christmas, my mother would have been working for several months. First, she would have found a baby sitter so that she could travel fifty miles either alone or with friends to New York City to buy gifts. Sometimes, she would travel to Morristown, in New Jersey to buy things, or sometimes to a store in Morris County called "Two Guys".
My mother was British, and she worked hard to provide the type of Christmas that she might have had in England, had she been there. We always had a genuine tree that was as tall as our homes twelve foot ceilings. It was always decorated from head to toe. It also had Christmas crackers on it, sent from England, that when opened with a loud "pop", had a small toy inside. Christmas dinner was always at our home, and featured a huge turkey, stuffing, potatoes, vegetables, several desserts. There were nuts, olives, hors d'oeuvres, and alcoholic drinks for the adults. Our Christmases were spent with my mother's closest friend and her husband, who were also expatriates here in the US. Their children, who were friends of mine, had been born here. We also wore our finest clothing, and looked the very best that we would all year. At some time during the day, my mother called her relatives in England, and my father carefully timed each call, because in those days, overseas calls cost a fortune. As much as my mother enjoyed the calls, there was desperation in her voice as she spoke to them, knowing that she might not see them again, or that they may not live until her next visit home, which usually occurred about every four years, in lieu of beach vacations or vacations my friends might have had here to destinations within the US.
Today, our Christmases are very different. My children grew up in the American South in even a more rural area than the one in which I grew up. We almost never have snow at Christmas here. In fact, in 1989, I didn't need to wear a coat for that entire Winter. We usually get a couple of snows each year, in January through March. Most of the time we ignore them, as they melt all by themselves. I don't buy the abundance of gifts my mother did. My kids have what they need through the year, and don't really need much. In the past I have bought something they asked for, either from a catalog or online. Sometimes, I buy a gift certificate for a shop they love. We don't dress up quite the way we did when I was a child. We have horses, sheep, alpacas, a large number of dogs, chickens, guineas, and other animals and they too will need attention, exercise, and feeding even on Christmas Day. We all wear slacks or jeans and perhaps a festive shirt. My mother was an exceptional hostess and cook. I am really not. My husband is content to get a large turkey in the oven, and to make the stuffing that was passed down in his family. Because we have one child who is a Type I diabetic from childhood, the excesses of Christmas, gently left our table, one by one over the years. We have turkey, broccoli, potatoes, carrots, peas, stuffing, and gravy, and often a salad. We serve one dessert which has a sugar free alternative, side by side. Since all of our English relatives, and both my parents have died, along with our youngest son, there is no one to call. The kids gather for Christmas, and we have the meal cleared up and the dishes done within a couple of hours. I don't mind cleaning up, and it goes quickly. Sometimes we gather and sing, and then our children who are grown and have homes, depart.
For many years when the kids were small, I worked as a registered nurse. I had to work on Christmas Day and so we celebrated the day after, which I had off. The children were never any the wiser. Even today, we occasionally move Christmas by a day or so, if someone needs to be accommodated.
If I were to be honest, both types of Christmases are magical, and both are bittersweet, My mother worked very hard to give everyone a Christmas to remember, and she lived in fear of the day that her children would be grown and her loved ones in England would be gone. She feared the very Christmases I have now. My children are grown, and there are two little grandchildren now. These are not times to dread, but times to celebrate, as I am so proud of the people my children have become. We no longer have relatives outside our immediate family, but I know that they reside in Heaven and that we will see them again. We also have wonderful friends who are like family. Even among the changes in Christmas, there is still joy to be found. Merry Christmas everyone.
