If I were to be honest, I would have to say that I owe both of my parents an apology. When I was in high school, in the Northeast, my parents were often at the school complaining about one choice or another. At the time, this was embarrassing. So the school was giving three extra points on your final English grade for attending all of the sporting events that semester, and my parents found this objectionable. They also found some of the progressive mumbo jumbo we were being taught, a waste of our time when there were so many other things we needed to be taught that would be useful in college. "What do you care what the masses are being taught as long as your own kids know which end it up ?" "It's bigger than that", said my parents. "When history is diluted and the masses no longer now it then they are sitting ducks for whatever propaganda a particular group wishes to perpetrate." As a teen I did not see my parents efforts as a positive thing. I did not see that they were taking time off from their jobs to help to suggest a course correction on the high school level.
It has taken quite a few years for me to understand the actions of my parents. My college days are complete, my career is established and my own children, born in my twenties, have now completed college. Both of my parents have moved on. When my son told me that his life was threatened by other students when they were unsure as to whether he would vote their way, in an upcoming election for then President Obama, I was stunned. Why couldn't they vote their conscience, and leave my kids to vote their own ? I decided to come each week and have lunch with each of my kids who were, at the time, attending a large urban university. I learned a great deal on these visits. I learned that there were professors who were really doing a great job and who were an exceptional educational value. I learned that there were courses in women's studies, some of which were perpetrating myths and lies that in no way approximated any experiences I had ever had in terms of growing up in this country. I learned what I had already known, which is that although racism may always be the folly of a few, that the young people in this country, by in large, understand that we all have more in common with one another, than we have differences, and that we need the contributions of everyone to solve all of our nations and our world's problems. I learned that a lot of college students may have borrowed money for university, that many of them are starving during the semester. My kids brought instant oatmeal and brown sugar for their friends, so that during the semesters, they all had a healthy, quick and inexpensive breakfast.
My parents were right. Don't tell your kids what to think. Don't let your teachers, your professors and your schools do it either. Teach them to read. Expose them to broad ranging books, and let them choose farther afield than you might. Talk to them. Let them express their views to you, and express yours to them. Be respectful and polite. If more people had taken the time my parents had, we might not have the rage and devisiveness we have in our country. True discussion is rare, and when someone makes headway, the other responds with threats or with vulgar language. No one wins.
I had a total of five children, and now I have a grandchild. I have a lot of skin in the game. I care as to how tomorrow looks. Stop insulting one another. Start listening as to why your opponent believes as she does. Explain gently, why you do not. Stop the name calling. To solve problems, we are going to have to work together.
